December Mailbox

Time to open the mailbox, catch up on reader correspondence and make room for lavish gifts.

by: michael r. shannon | published: 12 20, 2009

Dear Sir:

Last week the New York Times and the Washington Post revealed that members of the Virginia Tech administration warned their families about the shooting on campus hours before students. Isn’t it time we cleaned out the entire administration, starting at the top?

I find it difficult to fault the staff for their decision. It appears that at 8:05 a.m. on April 16, 2007, some members of the Tech administrative staff simply decided they worked for an incompetent fool. So they called their families with the news of a shooting on campus.

The question Virginia residents should be asking is: why doesn’t our absentee Gov. Tim Kaine fire VT President Charles Steger?

It’s obvious the only area in our country’s vast education complex where there is any measure of accountability is the athletic department.

The University of Virginia fired football coach Al Groh after he lost a total of nine games. Virginia Tech President Charles Steger loses 32 students and he’s still collecting a salary of $457,040.00 a year.

Gov. Kaine’s idea of a strong executive response to this carnival of incompetence was appointing Inspector Clouseau to produce an investigation of the massacre that rivals the Warren Report for speed in arriving at a predetermined conclusion.

Dear Sir:

I try to be technologically current. I don’t have dial–up Internet. I drive a hybrid. And I give my burned out twisty light bulbs a decent Christian burial, rather than put them in the trash where they could harm undocumented refuse workers. But after T–Mobile Sidekick customers lost their data due to a technical failure; I’m really worried about “cloud computing” and storing my personal information on the web. Should I revert to proven technology and buy a diary?

The closest I come to “cloud computing” is my Netflix queue. I find the idea of my important data floating around on a stranger’s web server to be out of the question. I would just as soon ask the nearest homeless person to remember my pertinent facts.

“Climate change” propagandists can’t even keep email data private on their own servers; what makes you think a faceless corporation — run by anonymous nerds sporting random facial hair — is going to shield your information? Don’t store anything on the web you don’t want your wife to read or your enemies to steal.

Dear Sir:

I think it’s terrible that hard–hearted members of our county government have taken away the senior citizen’s bus service. What’s wrong with government providing free transportation to senior activity centers for our oldest citizens?

Here is the problem with government and goodies. Any government freebie once distributed, instantly becomes an entitlement, never to be ended.

The only example I can recall of a governing authority successfully removing a public benefit was the eviction from the Garden of Eden.

But with respect to our idle seniors there are a number of issues that need to be addressed. This first would be why is county government providing day care for senior citizens in the first place? It’s bad enough that we are already warehousing children and subsidizing mom’s lifestyle choices.

At $23,729.00 the median income for the 65 and over age group is higher than that of the 25 to 44 age group; so if you’re making an argument on the basis of fairness the geezers should be paying for the whippersnappers to ride to work.

If your argument is who has responsibility for seniors, it’s certainly not the government. The family has responsibility for family members. If your kids are selfish ingrates who want to leave grandma on the porch for the wolves to carry away, then there are plenty of churches, civic groups and fraternal organizations that have senior programs.

It’s strange that so many seniors have come to resemble teenagers: both thinking someone else owes them a living.

Dear Sir:

I never know what to say to my wife these days when she returns home from the hair stylist or clothes shopping. What’s a compliment that won’t get me in trouble?

This is a delicate situation. I’ve learned from painful experience that when your wife gets back from the hairdresser and you want to compliment the new look by comparing her to a celebrity admired by men everywhere — don’t pick Betty Crocker.

Try something neutral like, “a bargain at twice the price.” Or use a French expression like, ‘tres chic” or “café au lait.”

Dear Sir:

I’ve read that men in Saudi Arabia are allowing their women to have plastic surgery. Do you think this bodes well for our cultures growing closer?

This is a real tree–falls–in–the–forest situation. Who knows what’s actually going on under that burka? I did find it interesting that after the male imams and the male surgeons met to decide what surgeries were permitted (halal) and what was forbidden (haram) under Islam, breast enhancement topped the list.

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